WHY DO WE BLAME OTHERS?
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Who do we blame? Do we blame the other guy? Or do we point the finger at ourselves? When things happen or when we do something wrong, we like to blame the other guy, or do we blame God? Matthew 7:3 reads: "And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?" Now let's take a look at Proverbs 19:3 which tells us the following: "The foolishness of man perverteth his way: and his heart fretteth against the LORD."
Remember in school when you would be sitting in class and the teacher would be giving the lesson, when you and a friend would be talking with each other and the teacher stops and looks at the both of you and scolds you both? Most of the time your friend pointed his finger at you and would say, "He kept talking to me!" Wow! What a way to shift the blame so he wouldn't look bad. As Christians, if we mess up, we are to take the blame and not shift it to someone else.
Why do we blame others?
We tend to blame others so that we do not look bad. We have a tendency to shift the blame when something hasn't gone quite right People don't realize they are acting the part of a hypocrite when they judge another person by pointing the finger.
I was at a function one time and there were a couple of men. One was in line behind me (we were in line for a buffet) and he was pointing his finger at another gentleman that was taking more than his share. He said, "Because of him there won't be anything left of the apple crisp!" I reminded him that he too had taken more than his share of cake at a function, and as a result a little girl get to have any cake.
In Matthew 7:5 Jesus says, "Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye." When it comes time to accept the blame don't try to shift the blame over to someone else, or don't, as it is more commonly said, "pass the buck to someone else."
Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden is a classic example of pointing the finger at the other person. Genesis 3:9-13 tells us this: "And the LORD God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou? And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself. And he said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat? And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat. And the LORD God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat." Now here in verse 12 you can picture Adam shifting his feet, moving his eyes, and starting to sweat bullets and probably swallowing really hard because he knows he messed up, that he dropped the ball. So what does he do? Let's look at verse 12 again, "the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat." Looks like Adam is trying to shift the blame onto one other besides the woman. Adam says, "The woman whom thou gavest to be with me." It's almost like he's saying, "You know God it's partly your fault because you gave me this woman." I don't think it would fly though. Continuing on to verse 13 we find: "And the LORD God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat." Now it's her turn to point the finger as if to say, "Hey God the creepy little creature tricked me so don't go getting on me." Wow! What an example of shifting the blame.
Are we just trying to cover our sin by blaming others to make ourselves look good?
Remember the young man that killed his someone with a rock and deliberately lied about killing him, only to point the finger in another direction? In Geneses chapter 4, Cain rose up against his brother Abel and slayed him. In verse 9 God asks, "And the LORD said unto Cain, Where is Abel thy brother? And he said, I know not: Am I my brother's keeper?"
In the Matthew Henry Commentary it poses the idea that God asks Cain the question that He may draw a confession out of him, for those who would be justified before God must accuse themselves and the repentant will do so. Cain endeavors to cover his sin from God. Here Cain is trying to put the blame on God. He's basically telling God, "Hey, are you not his keeper?" Remember now, in verse 9 Cain poses the questions, "Am I my brother's keeper? Basically telling God that if he's missing then the blame is on you. Cain is cold and uncaring. Those who like to point the finger at others and not look at themselves speak the common language of Cain. Proverbs 28:13 says, "He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy."
When people try to hide the fact that they messed up by blame shifting, they only dig themselves a little deeper into an ugly situation. Psalm 32:3-4 tells us that, "When I kept silence, my bones waxed old through my roaring all the day long. For day and night thy hand was heavy upon me: my moisture is turned into the drought of summer. Selah." The Psalmist puts it in a way that is quite poetic. When we try to hide our transgressions and shirt the blame to another, the conviction is quite heavy, "thy hand was heavy upon me." The Psalmist goes on to say in verse 5, "I acknowledge my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the LORD; and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin. Selah." I remember my friend's son who ate a whole one pound bag of M&Ms. I believe they were the holiday kind. Anyway, he asks his son if he ate the candy and of course his son totally denied eating any of it. He then blamed it on the cat. Later, he came to his dad complaining of a stomachache and confessed to eating the bag of M&Ms.
What happens when we try to keep our sins covered?
Proverbs 23:13 and the Psalmist in Psalm 32:3-5 gave us a good insight of what covering and confessing our sins can do to us. Let's look at a story from the Book of Acts, chapter 5. It tells of Ananias and his wife Sapphira. Ananias sold some property and kept most of the proceeds for himself and with Sapphira's full knowledge. Anaias tried to keep the lie from God, but God spoke through Peter asking him why he lied about what he had done. Ananias fell dead at Peter's feet. The same fate happened with Sapphira as well. Yikes! God struck them dead! Now I am not saying that God will strike people dead, but He will bring conviction upon one's heart when they decide to shift their transgressions or blame to someone else.
When the Prophet Nathan came to David and gave him the story of the two mean and the sheep, how quickly David arose and said that man must die. The punch here was when Nathan said, "Thou art the man!" David didn't try to deny it nor did he try to shift the blame. He fully accepted his folly. In Psalm 51:1-19 (read it from the Bible) David repented. We find great sorrow for his sin, verbal confession, forgiveness, restoration to God's favor, rejoicing in salvation, and a willingness to testify to other about grace.
When we decide to shift the blame let's stop and take a look. Don't speak the language that Cain spoke or that Adam and Eve spoke. Take courage and know that Christ forgives you. 1 John 1:9 tells us, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
Let's stand and say I messed up and I can learn from this instead of pointing my finger like some little school friend and putting the blame on someone else. Nor be like Cain and try to blame God. Let the love of Christ strengthen you and allow you to confess your sins like the Psalmist did. Don't let Satan convince you that you have to point the finger. Instead, stand on the solid rock, the Lord and Saviour Christ Jesus!
AMEN!!!
